Posted in LIFE in general

The Bullies

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I was just on google trying to research and get material for my post today. I typed on the google search: What is the term for a person who gets bullied? and I looked up the first link that topped all the other answers. I came upon this and was taken by it, I wanted to use it and rephrase it but I guess the person who wrote it did it much better. Here it goes (please don’t mind the typos, i pasted it as it is to keep the soul of the whole text intact):

Is there a word for someone who gets bullied by there friends but acts like it doesnt happen?

then does nice stuff for them, but doesnt receive anything except for rudenes

Best Answer – Chosen by Voters

denial is a good one, but it sounds like you already recognize this.
There is a saying ‘we teach people how to treat us’.
What you are teaching , is cruel people who are NOT your friends, that you will reward them with ‘nice stuff’, for abusing you.
I suspect that you have had this happen a lot to you and now you are trying to ‘change’ them by being nice.
It really doesn’t work that way.
Abusers will abuse unless they take steps to personally change, based on a change inside themselves and their own attitudes.
I would say you need some therapy as to why you respond this way, how to meet healthy people and what real friendship is.
Otherwise, you are being emotionally masochistic and self defeating.
Look up stockholm syndrome
or traumatic bonding, and see if that describes your childhood , or relationships.
Real love and friendships don’t treat each other this way. You don’t have to do this.They are not ‘friends’.
 
Reflecting on this I realized that bullies will cease to exist if there aren’t anyone to bully or abuse. If everyone has but one mind that it is not okay to be abused then all the bullies in the world will vanish into oblivion. If we learn to stand up for ourselves, fight for ourselves and learn how to defend ourselves against these kind of people then you regain the power that they have over you. I know it’s not easy but not trying to control your life and the situation you are in will also be your undoing.
 
Bullies do not have power, they are not much better.. not much smarter.. not wittier.. not stronger.. over you.. You can only be everything you want to be if you set your mind to it.  By allowing yourself to be abused you relinquish your power and control over to these bullies and they get the upper hand of the whole situation. If you strengthen your resolve to stand up to these kinds of people then you reclaim that which was initially yours.
 
Paradoxically, bullies are human too like you and me. They are just like any other ordinary people, they have feelings too. They might have been brought up differently, might have experienced things we have not encountered, might have seen things out of the ordinary..  Heck, they might be victims themselves of abusive people..  In short there are reasons why they are the way they are. In some ways, I do pity them. For me, they are the type of people who will never be happy. Will never find contentment in their hearts, will never have peace of mind. For as long as they feel and do the things they do they will never have  clarity, peace and serenity (as Fergie says it.. hehe) but kidding aside, bullies will never change who they are unless they do this themselves.. the power to change remains with them.
 
I guess in closing, I’d like to think I’m not a bully never have never will.. But then there are always two sides to every story. You just have to flip the coin to know which side you will be..
 
 
 
(I don’t own rights to the photo used in this post as well as the above text: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20101214185848AAdCpHv)
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