Posted in Just messing with my mind

Inadequate

I feel like time is running so fast on me. And slowly I feel like I’m getting eaten alive by my insecurities.

INADEQUATE. I feel this strongly now more than ever. I think about where my life has gone. And how many chances I have missed over the past few years of my life. How I have managed to slip by every opportunity presented to me and how I can’t seem to get them now that I badly need it. Have I washed up my qualities altogether over the past years? Have I lost touch of the things that made me a hot commodity back then? Because I feel like I can’t convince anybody nowadays. It’s like I can’t get thru to anyone or everyone is just overlooking who I am. It’s quite a dilemma and I feel like such a useless character. Time is slipping thru my fingers and I can’t seem to stop it from happening. Moments that I thought would define my whole life seem to avoid me. And the things that I thought were just within my grasps are far from the reality. A slow burning hole inside me is starting to build up and I don’t see it ebbing any time soon. I hope that a divine power would see me through this chasm. I’m stuck and inadequacy is enveloping me in a thin film where movement is a far cry from the truth. I had to let it out all the pent up emotions of disappointment, grief and desperation. My pools of tears were the validation that I am feeling all of these and keeping it inside far from the prying eyes of those who don’t understand…

However despite everything, I want to dwell on these words hoping somehow it will give me courage to fight and stand head strong facing the challenges that come my way… (i don’t own credits to this photo, I stumbled on it and felt that it means so much to my life right now)

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