Posted in Just messing with my mind

Inadequate

I feel like time is running so fast on me. And slowly I feel like I’m getting eaten alive by my insecurities.

INADEQUATE. I feel this strongly now more than ever. I think about where my life has gone. And how many chances I have missed over the past few years of my life. How I have managed to slip by every opportunity presented to me and how I can’t seem to get them now that I badly need it. Have I washed up my qualities altogether over the past years? Have I lost touch of the things that made me a hot commodity back then? Because I feel like I can’t convince anybody nowadays. It’s like I can’t get thru to anyone or everyone is just overlooking who I am. It’s quite a dilemma and I feel like such a useless character. Time is slipping thru my fingers and I can’t seem to stop it from happening. Moments that I thought would define my whole life seem to avoid me. And the things that I thought were just within my grasps are far from the reality. A slow burning hole inside me is starting to build up and I don’t see it ebbing any time soon. I hope that a divine power would see me through this chasm. I’m stuck and inadequacy is enveloping me in a thin film where movement is a far cry from the truth. I had to let it out all the pent up emotions of disappointment, grief and desperation. My pools of tears were the validation that I am feeling all of these and keeping it inside far from the prying eyes of those who don’t understand…

However despite everything, I want to dwell on these words hoping somehow it will give me courage to fight and stand head strong facing the challenges that come my way… (i don’t own credits to this photo, I stumbled on it and felt that it means so much to my life right now)

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Posted in LIFE in general

The Pressure of Time

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(photo courtesy of Imageshack.us)

Tick tock! Says the clock

Tick tock! My mind’s a block

Tick tock I just can’t stop

Tick tock! My brain’s gonna pop

Tick tock! I need to slow

Tick tock! Go with the flow

Tick tock! But how can I?

Tick tock! When I can’t get by

Tick tock! This passing phase

Tick tock! I must erase

Tick tock! This life of mine

Tick tock! Far from sublime

Tick tock! The time has pass

Tick tock! It’s come at last

Tick tock! All this must end

Tick tock! My life is spend

tick tock! tick tock! tick tock! tick…..

Posted in LIFE in general

Money.. money.. money

I know my topic of discussion is passé to everyone..

but even though that is the case I can’t help but touch this subject for the reasons that this is currently touching my life..

Money is such a driving force in anything that works in this world

It holds so much power that not having any brings people to so much misery

They say that money can never buy happiness well that’s BS (excuse my language!) but it does BIG TIME..

I mean how can you deny yourself the happiness of buying all the luxuries in the world

They say laughter is for free but when it comes down to feeding your mouth, having a roof on top of your head and basically living day to day can laughter make up for all those?!

I don’t mean to be cynical neither i don’t mean to be a hypocrite but come on! the world has come a long way from the time when people lived simply.. and gadgets where a thing that inventors dared to dream of..

Everything in the world works now because of money.. and that’s that.. there’s no sugar coating, no hidden message just plain and simple..

Money even changes the meekest of people.. I have nothing against those who have plenty of it, if only the world was FAIR.. where there shouldn’t be those who don’t have and those who have more..

But then Equality is one notion that is an impossibility in the world we live in.. Nothing is ever equal! heck! I live in a non-impartial place every single day..

Money makes criminals out of the poor, these things drive people crazy to the brink of desperation..

If there is one saying I do believe about money is that it is the root of all evil..

It dictates the rich to become greedy for more and the poor to be savages for want to have if only a meager amount of the whole..

So I therefore end this piece with a song by Meja that sums up the whole topic.. Which I’m sure all of you are familiar with..

Sometimes,
I find another world inside my mind.
When I realize the crazy things we do.
It makes me feel ashamed to be alive.
It makes me want to run away and hide.

-chorus-
Its all about the money,
its all about the dum dum duh dee dum dum.
I don’t think its funny.
To see us fade away.
Its all about the money,
its all about the dum dum duh dee dum dum.
and I think we got it all wrong anyway.

We find stranges ways,
of showing them how much we really care.
When in fact we don’t seem to care at all.
This pretty world is gettin out of hand.
So tell me how we failed to understand.

-chorus x2-
Its all about the money,
its all about the dum dum duh dee dum dum.
I don’t think its funny.
to see us fade away.
Its all about the money,
its all about the dum dum duh dee dum dum.
and I think we got it all wrong anyway.

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(i don’t own rights to this photo)